I sometimes find myself thinking about how my dog pulled me through. Not in any big, dramatic way, but in the quiet moments when life just felt too heavy. He didn’t need answers or advice to offer; he was just there, beside me, every single day. When I was worn out and ready to throw in the towel, he’d give me that little nudge, his eyes saying, “You’re okay. We’ve got this.” And somehow, that was enough to keep going. He never cared about the mistakes I made or judged me for falling short. He simply showed up, steady and loyal in a way you don’t always see in people. There are days I wonder where I’d be without him—probably lost in my own chaos, tangled up in thoughts I can’t control. But he’s here, keeping me grounded in the simplest way. And that’s how he saved me,one day at a time, just by being there, exactly when I needed someone the most.
R.M. Drake from the book Dog People
I have always loved having dogs in my life. Our favorite family dog, Cash, came to live with us in 2012 a few weeks before he turned two years old. He quickly became my emotional support pet before I even understood what that meant, and we formed a strong bond. We took daily walks together, during which he would sniff everything while I cried and prayed.
However, towards the end of my marriage, when things were falling apart, Cash became very sensitive to the changes happening in our household. Ultimately, he went to live with my oldest daughter, who was away at college. This was the best decision for him, and he thrived in that environment.
During the initial stages of my divorce, I faced numerous challenges. Although I would have loved to have Cash back, I knew that it would be too overwhelming for him and me. I had a daughter in college, another in high school, and a house to sell. My priority became creating a supportive environment for myself and my two girls, with a focus on my own well-being, knowing that the girls wouldn’t be with me for long. Ultimately, I decided to move to downtown St. Paul, MN, which turned out to be a great decision. The girls eventually ended up enjoying it there too.
I rented a beautiful apartment in the heart of Lowertown Saint Paul, located in a building called the Pioneer Endicott. I loved living there and called it home for nearly five years! The building was dog-friendly, which allowed our family dog, Cash, to stay with me when my oldest daughter needed a place for him. After living with my oldest daughter while she attended college, Cash eventually moved to Florida with her and now resides with my youngest daughter in Kansas.
The Pioneer Endicott, Saint Paul, Minnesota
At that time, I was juggling a lot of challenges. I was dealing with anxiety and depression, lingering feelings for my ex-husband, a demanding new job, and the distance from my youngest daughter. I also had constant worries about my oldest daughter’s job, which can be quite dangerous. On top of that, my health had taken a hit. Since the divorce, I faced several cancer scares and surgeries, along with a diagnosis of Type 2 diabetes and degenerative osteoarthritis. It was frustrating, especially since I had always been healthy up until that point. These experiences made me realize just how much stress can impact one’s overall well-being.
To make matters worse, my dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, and managing his care, along with dealing with legal disputes regarding his estate with my brothers, felt overwhelming. It seemed like too much to handle all at once. Throughout all of this, I had been seeing a therapist for anxiety and depression and grieving the loss of my marriage.
About a year and a half ago, I made my home in Hastings, MN, a charming river town located along the banks of the Mississippi River and close to the St. Croix River. After spending five months settling into my new, 150-year-old house with a lovely yard, I realized it was time for a furry companion in my life. With my youngest daughter graduating from college and moving to Kansas, and my oldest daughter already working in Florida, the thought of being alone felt a bit daunting. While I welcomed this change, I soon discovered it came with its own set of emotional challenges.
I began searching for a small, non-shedding dog that would love to sit on my lap and could easily travel with me, especially since I have a daughter living in Florida and another in Kansas. I found that the Cavapoo breed fits my needs perfectly. A Cavapoo is a cross between a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel and a Miniature Poodle. According to DogTime, Cavapoos are known for their compact size, unique coloring, and hypoallergenic coats, which often make them look like teddy bears. Their sweet temperament also adds to their charming appearance.
I found Merri through an amazing breeder, WoodHaven Pups in Minnesota, who provided all the information and support I needed about the Cavapoo breed. My therapist encouraged me to make her my emotional support animal, which made perfect sense for me, and she truly is! Having an emotional support animal can bring great joy and provide companionship that helps ease anxiety and depression. I genuinely appreciate the comfort Merri provides in my life. It’s important to note that emotional support animals aren’t the same as service dogs and don’t have the same accommodations, but having her by my side has made a positive difference as I navigate these challenges.
Merri brought an immediate sense of calm to my life. I got her when she was just 8 weeks old. Training her and adjusting to having a puppy wasn’t easy, but it has all been worth it. She is there for me during my darkest days as well as my good days, serving as my constant companion. Since I brought her home, I haven’t been away from her for more than five hours at a time, and never for a full day. She goes everywhere with me and is an amazing travel companion, both in the air and on the road. Everyone she meets loves her, and she reciprocates that affection.
Merri as a puppy
Cavapoos are sociable, playful, and loving, making them excellent family pets, especially because they get along well with children. Merri embodies all these traits and is quite intelligent! She can recognize her fluffy toys by name and will fetch the specific one I ask for. Merri also shows a distinct reaction towards people she knows compared to strangers. Her favorite people are our neighbors and our mail carrier, Cindy. When Cindy is nearby, I can always tell by Merri’s excited “cry.” As soon as I hear that sound, I know it’s time to go meet Cindy, who always has a treat for Merri.
With the help of trazodone prescribed by her veterinarian, Merri travels very well by airplane. She loves the attention she gets at the airport and simply takes a nap during the flight. She is potty trained to use a doggie potty tray or pee pad, so she can go potty both indoors and outdoors. Whenever we arrive at a new location, she quickly finds her potty tray. Training her this way was challenging, but it has definitely been worth it, especially on the cold and wet days here in Minnesota. Additionally, she sleeps with me in my bed—something that pet trainers discourage—but it makes traveling with less doggie supplies easier. Not to mention, she’s a little snuggle bug, and I love having her in bed with me.
Since Merri came into my life, I can’t imagine living without her. She has been a tremendous blessing to me in so many ways! She truly calms me during the storms of life. Even on days when I don’t feel like it, she encourages me to get outside. She also brings me into the lives of others because she loves meeting new people when we’re out and about. During times of anxiety, she provides comfort, and she soothes me when I’m feeling depressed. I highly endorse emotional support pets. However, please do your research and make sure the pet you choose is the right fit and the right time in life for you. You can read more about emotional support pets on the American Kennel Club website.
So what is an emotional support pet? According to the American Kennel Club, to legally be considered an emotional support dog, also called an emotional support animal (ESA), the pet needs to be prescribed by a licensed mental health professional to a person with a disabling mental illness. A therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist must determine that the presence of the animal is needed for the mental health of the patient. For example, owning a pet might ease a person’s anxiety or give them a focus in life. The dogs can be of any age and any breed.
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